Happy Birthday Little Sis!

Okay, now please remember I just had major surgery and am not looking or feeling my best... but I wanted to make SURE that my sister Gina Geisse Karstens knows that I am thinking of her - EVERY DAY - while she is away.

If ONLY I had some TURKEY!!! Gina, I love you and I am with you in Spirit!!! 

VIDEO blogging... Here we go!!!

Are you ready??? Here I AM!!! 

See me, the good, the bad and the "working on it" right here

...as I live "out loud" for anyone interested to see. 

How do I begin and where do we go from here?

WOW! It has been over a month since I updated you all here. Some of you have followed on facebook and some have connected with us personally. We cannot thank you enough for all of your prayers and love during this rocky road.

I'll try to start from where I left of on April 29th. Since surgery, Ted has been home, in BED, for 7 weeks. At our last visit, the surgeon informed us that his leg was still pretty swollen and he should remain non-weight bearing for two more weeks. Unfortunately, as many of you know, one week later - last Wednesday night - Ted was unable to fall asleep. He stayed awake while I slept with the illumination of the television in the background. At 3 a.m. I awoke to use the bathroom. When I returned, he was groaning in pain. "What hurts?" I asked, fully knowing that he would say "my leg" and that it was time for another dose of his pain meds. However, his response came - "my chest and arm"

"WHAT?!" I was now fully alert. "Which arm?"
"My right...and there's like a bubble that keeps moving around..."
"I think we better go to the emergency room" said I.
"No, I'll be fine..." he said through shallow breaths.

Frustrated, I went to the Mayo Clinic site to read to him the symptoms he was having and what they could mean. He sat up...

"OKAY!" he barely choked out.
"Okay what? Okay we can go to the hospital or okay you are feeling better?"
"OKAY - HOSPITAL" - he wasn't good.

We left immediately and arrived at the hospital just after 4 a.m. - who do you call at 4 a.m. for moral support? The E.R. doc worked at keeping things light hearted with her STUPID jokes - yes, they were STUPID, as in the kind your kindergartner comes home with! He was taken to radiology for a CT scan and we waited for results. When they came, we didn't fully understand the gravity of them. She was so "no biggie" about it when she said - "Yep! P.E.- Pulmonary Embolism!" She seemed proud that her diagnosis was correct. "You'll be here for the rest of the day." When Ted pressed more, she confessed, "okay, more like 2 or 3 days."

There went our plans for Memorial Day!

We got to the room and Ted said, "Take my picture for facebook, I've never had to stay in the hospital before." so I did. We STILL had no clue how BAD this was. No one around us seemed to feel the need to tell us either. So, when he was settled in, I kissed him goodbye to go home and nap and gather some things for him and then return. I posted a new status to facebook, texted my mom and my sister, and started to make our bed as I thought about how to tell HIS mom what we had been doing all morning. I made the call. Not knowing "how" to tell her, I just blurted it out, "...he has 4 clots in 5 lobes of his lungs." Her response indicated that this was NOT "okay" like I had originally discerned from the E.R. doc.

After hanging up with her I decided I had better call his surgeon and alert them to what was going on. Each time I reached a live human being, I was immediately transferred up the chain to the next "important" LIVE person until I reached the doctor. At this point, I decided to get honest - "Can you please tell me what this means? I have a feeling I am either OVER-reacting or UNDER-reacting, but I don't know which."

"...this is VERY SERIOUS!" he replied. "If you hadn't gotten him there, he would have likely died."

It was HERE that FEAR filled my heart and mind. I said thank you and hung up. I knew I had to get people to pray, and so I called the ones I knew who would not hesitate. "This is Laurie," I started on voicemails. "I'm going to TRY and keep it together as I tell you this," and then I absolutely fell apart, sobbing into the phone. Who knows how it sounded when they retrieved my message.

Can't "nap" now. So I loaded what I had and headed back to the hospital - trusting that my boys would be able to figure things out and take care of themselves. They did, but they were concerned about mom, and dad - because mom was rambling on about nothing and crying.

When I got to the hospital and shared what I had learned, we BOTH wept.

We had many visitors on Thursday and Friday. Most who were eager to pray with us, and GRATEFULLY we accepted. By Friday afternoon, the 2nd doc to see Ted had already signed discharge papers - but no one had told us. After "training" in shot-giving, we left the hospital around 3 and headed to the pharmacy for three prescriptions that would keep Ted alive... we were met with "sorry, workman's comp denied this. You can purchase the shots for $600 if you wish, and then get re-imbursed later." ARE YOU KIDDING?

WHO SENDS SOMEONE HOME WHO ALMOST DIED AND THEN REFUSES TO COVER THE LIFESAVING MEDS TO KEEP HIM ALIVE?! (...no comment...) Do I need to share how STRESSED we were at this point? Home we went...with NOTHING to help Ted.

The nurse liaison who has been communicating with us since leaving Missouri was THANKFULLY able to give a verbal approval "for the expensive shots" which would be given once a day for the next 5 days. So back I went to pick it all up. When I dumped the meds out onto the bed we were HORRIFIED to find that they'd (the PHARMACIST) decided to give us the generic so they didn't have to go in search of the PRESCRIBED AND APPROVED shots. The generics would require TWENTY SHOTS!!! Instead of one a day, it was now to be two in the morning and two at night!

Later the same night, Ted began to show signs he was not well. We were to return if his temp reached 100.4. It was 100.6 - so I hesitate...and pray. I checked again. 101.2... and I pray. Checking again...101.4, reset, 101.6, 101.7. I am still praying and watching the thermometer. It finally began to drop. 101.3... so I stepped back and let him sleep. Thank you, all of you who joined me in praying that night too.

In the morning on Sunday, it was an AMAZING sight! He was up, took a bath, and said "look at this" as he tossed the covers off. For the FIRST time in 6 weeks, his broken leg was completely NORMAL - no swelling, no redness, no bruising! HEALING CAME!!!

Today, was our follow up appointments. Coumaden clinic revealed that his INR was 2.4 - those who understand, know that IDEAL is 2 to 3. He will be on Coumaden for 3 months. The surgeon released him for therapy and said to TRY to start using the repaired leg. It will likely be 2 1/2 more months or more before he can return to work (as stated by the doctor).

There is a legal deposition on June 21 in Missouri. We will NOT be going - the doctors have forbidden him from traveling so far. Can't say I am disappointed!

I HATE DRAMA!!! Get me OUTTA HERE!

At the risk of possibly upsetting some of you, I will begin with an apology. The past, uhhm, YEAR has been a whirlwind INTO a ridiculous DRAMA that I am incredibly tired of living. I have decided to type the details on my virtual "paper" so that I can share what everyone is asking, and have some semblance of understanding myself. Part of the symptoms of my anemia are confusion and memory issues, so rather than wonder IF I have included everything and/or everyone necessary I will write it out. Hence, my apology... I am sorry if you do not WANT the details, but this is for me - and those who do.

I will only start with THIS year. We moved in with wonderful friends who basically "carried us" while Ted was getting back to work in Missouri. We've been there since November 2009. On March 25, I had the privilege of signing a new rental agreement for THIS home on the lake and getting our keys - unfortunately, this was done with Ted in Missouri - working. He was not a part of the move, however, we were not wanting for help - I was amazed at the incredible group of servers who showed up and made the move happen very quickly. We moved all in on Friday. I had a showing on Saturday, and then began to pave a pathway through the boxes on Sunday...working day and night, hitting the bed, EXHAUSTED, around 3 a.m. each morning only to begin again in a few hours.

Tuesday night, we all went to bed early (around 10) with good intentions to "get er done" in the next 4 days. That is, get the house staged and ready for Easter when we could "relax" and ENJOY it! At 1:30 a.m. Ted called and said, "I'm hurt" - as many of you know, he fell. They'd eventually told him he had sprained his ankle and would be fine to travel home for the holiday but to return on Monday for work. He was given crutches and sent on his way Wednesday sometime before noon. On Friday, the corporate doc called to say "we think you have a hairline fracture". He drove back on Monday, taking James with him as his nurse, and went straight to work that night in great pain.

Tuesday, he had an appointment with the corporate doc who said he'd likely had a hairline fracture and that he was not going to try and deal with it but referred him to an orthopedic surgeon Wednesday morning. He was told he was fine for light duty, to which he was disappointed because he was in incredible pain. At THIS point, the doc prescribed him some Tylenol with codeine. Wednesday, the ortho came in and didn't even x-ray before saying "You broke your leg too, you must be in excruciating pain You drove to MN like that? NEVER SHOULD HAVE, could have died from a clot!" Then, after confirming with the x-ray, "Get your wife down here, you are NOT going back to work, cannot drive, and SHOULD have had surgery last week - when can we do it?"

You know, then, that I drove down on Saturday so that I could be there with him on Monday when they would fix his leg.

We have battled with workman's comp all the way through. Even to the point of them asking "When and why did you have surgery?" They keep changing what they will and will not cover. Now, they have cut his 2/3 TTD (disability salary while out of work) in half!!! We have just enough to pay our rent and maybe utilities. Ted was released to go HOME on Monday 4/19. FINALLY! We were so happy to be home on Tuesday night and both stared into the vastness of the lake out back.

April 1 we finally were re-instated with our family insurance. To which, Ted immediately said "You're going to the doc!" because we had been asking about some anemic tendencies just prior to coverage lapsing a couple of years prior. I went to the doc on Tuesday morning. Because of my symptoms, she ordered blood work and an ultra sound of my pelvis...the same day. We returned home and got a call saying "Come back, your hemoglobin is 7 and you must be typed and crossed tonight, for a blood transfusion tomorrow!" SOOO, back to the hospital Tuesday night, then home, then back again for 6 hours on Wednesday... all while we are still waiting for ultra-sound results to come).

Today, Thursday, Ted FINALLY got his OVERDUE follow up visit to the doc referred to here in MN. It was a 5 hour trip, and frustrating (because it just seems to be "the way" with workman's comp) but we learned that THIS doc is actually the one who DESIGNED the treatment that Ted got in MO!!! HOORAY! Someone who KNOWS what is going on!!! His cast and stitches were removed and he was put in a boot - now he can shower or bathe and is to begin in 2 weeks to put a little weight on it to hopefully get it to a 90 degree angle. Return visit will be in 3 weeks on May 19 for new x-rays and likely a referral to the therapist who will help him to learn how to walk again. Thereapy will be for 4-6 more weeks at which point he will, hopefully, be ready to return to work.

We got home around 4:30... (we left at 10:30 this morning) and made an early dinner and flopped into bed to relax. I'm feeling more "myself" now, after the transfusion, but I have to wonder if it could still be better.

At 5:30 my results call came.

"You have a 'Fibroid Uterous' and 'Right Fundal' which means you have 2 functional cysts on your right ovary. You have a non-functional mass in/on your uterous which has been there a very long time, and is likely the cause of your other issues. These are always benign. Your B12 was better than I have EVER seen in ANYBODY, but your Iron was terrible. Dr. is recommending that you see an OBGYN. You also need a follow up ultra-sound in 3 to 6 weeks. The next step is to decide what to do. It could be anything ranging from leaving it there to a hysterectomy."

I have a consult with an OB GYN tomorrow morning...

Will I EVER get this house ready???

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happyyyyyyyyyy

I know, lately, it seems my posts have all been pretty negative. I don't mean for them to be. I am believing for the best. The wonderful weather here and the kind and friendly staff at the hotel are helping to pass the time. It's just so hard to watch someone you love be in so much pain and not be able to help. I KNOW that he'd be happier at home. That's what we're shooting for!

All the posts of love and prayers mean SO much. Thank you to everyone who is posting, praying, and offering help. We are sooh blessed with an incredible extended family - across the United States! 

This whole "Workman's Comp" thing is keeping me guessing too - I'm a pretty organized, figure-it-out and make-the-best kind of person, but it is frustrating and unsteadying to be waiting on someone else to tell you what you can and cannot do. We have attempted several times since Monday to reach "the appropriate person" but no one is calling back. THAT raises some concern! The other piece, is that when we do something we are told, i.e. get a simple prescription, we are met with "...we don't take workman's comp" - which means that everything is coming out of our own pocket. Not so easy to relax when you are forced to spend money you should be using to take care of your basic needs on the unexpected. "We'll be re-imbursed" I'm told... okay, when?

Today I am sitting at the table in our room-looking over my sleeping patient-out onto the sunny parking lot and wishing I could get him out there. Don't think he'll like it much when I make him use the crutches for the next "trip" to the bathroom!

The sign at the front desk says thunderstorms tonight!

...will we EVER get back?

"There's NO place like home...there's NO place like home...there's..."

Where IS home? I'm lost... Amazing how things can change in the blink of an eye. I wish I had some ruby slippers to click the heels together and they would instantly bring me home... *sigh* this could be a longer post, the updates are numerous!

We got our keys the evening of 3/25, and promptly moved everything from our "temporary home" in St. Michael. We were thrilled to finally be IN! Slept the night on air mattresses and awoke early to meet our helpers at the storage unit. Arriving at 9:30, and viewing all that our storage unit held (remember, we moved from 6,500 square feet of house to this storage unit - it was packed TO THE ROOF!) I expected a very long day...and it was windy and cold. The kind of cold that pierces your fingers until they go numb.

We are so blessed. I was amazed as every few minutes up drove ANOTHER vehicle, with additional helpers or trailers to lend a helping hand. I really didn't know quite what to expect, but it's incredible when God's hands (the people who love us) reach out and start to do their work! We had 17 people there. We loaded, laughed, and locked... as the last trailer pulled away from the EMPTY storage, I glanced at the clock. It was not quite 10:30! These incredible people had completely packed everything in just shy of one hour!

I was overwhelmed with emotion-Ted could not be there, and it was so hard. He kept calling to check in, but we were busy and I couldn't talk. I was confused with all the details that Ted normally took care of, but was directed to "stand here, and tell everyone where things go!" It worked amazingly!

As you can see in the pictures, 6,500 square feet of "STUFF" doesn't quite FIT into 2700 square feet, so now the task of finding "a place for everything and everything in it's place".

Two days later, at 2 a.m., the phone rang...it was Ted, he didn't sound so good. "I'm hurt...", "WHAT?!" I immediately sat up and shook myself awake.

Most of you know by now, that he fell from a four foot pipe at work when he missed the ladder. 275 lbs of body all landing on one foot (or ankle, as it were). The doctor had determined it was just a sprain and once he could pee in a cup (to prove he was not "under the influence") he could take the weekend off for Easter, but to return to work on Monday for "light duty" at 10%.

While home for Easter, enjoying the wonderful view of the lake (recovery is ALWAYS better with a lake, right?) We watched his leg turn a rainbow of colors...blue and purple the most prominent. Even to his toes, that were blue halfway up to the tips. Those of us watching were convinced that there must be MORE than what we'd been told. We learned that there was probably two "hairline fractures" in the ankle and when he returned he would be seeing the doc again.

He dreaded the long 9 hour drive back to KS, but took James with him to be his nurse. (an EXCELLENT choice, I might add!) Went straight to work, and was MISERABLE. One WEEK after the fall, the doc was ready to admit that he felt more comfortable referring Ted to an Orthopedic surgeon to make the final call. He prescribed some pain meds (FINALLY) and sent him back to work. Ted was sooooo discouraged, because they were saying he would not be returning home to heal, they had plenty of "light duty" to keep him working through the end of summer.

The next call was a different tone. The wonderful Ortho "knows his stuff" and hadn't even x-rayed before he said "you must be in a lot of pain?" Ted said "YES!" Doc said he would NEVER have allowed him to make the drive home (let alone twice) because of the risk of blood clots. By now, his leg was incredibly black and blue. Doc said to do another x-ray, but that he KNEW there was another break just below his knee. He also said, you will NOT be working or putting ANY weight on this for 8 weeks...to which Ted promptly shed tears. He KNEW the pain was worse than what they were saying before! Doc x-rayed and said "Get your wife here for surgery, ASAP!"

Surgery was Monday - today is Wednesday (TWO WEEKS since the injury occurred). Surgery took 2 hours. They gave Ted a "block" in his leg that was to help the pain for 24 hours after he awoke. I was given x-rays to keep, that showed what was done. Screws, straps, brackets...all in the ankle to help cinch the bones together so that the fracture below the knee could heal naturally. Now we wait. Follow up will be on Monday afternoon... it's a lonnnnnng stay in a hotel room. Thankful for the pool, hottub, and a vast array of restaurants to choose from for each meal. Getting tired of eating out...and wondering just what the heck workman's comp is for... We have yet to hear again from them since the diagnosis has changed from a sprain to, now, the need for surgery and screws. He's MISERABLE. Poor baby :( ...and I feel so helpless to do anything for him!

Still about a week of hotel living...

I close my eyes, and imagine myself in Judy Garland's ruby slippers...

"There's no place like home...there's no place like home...
there's no place..."

Please try to keep totes together as follows:

· RED – Mfloor LRm
· ORANGE – Kitchen – FOODS
· GOLD – Kitchen – Dishes
· BLACK – Garage near front
· PURPLE – Julian – Down Bed
· GREEN – Joshua – Up Bed
· RED/GRN Lids – James–Up Bed

....and so, it begins!!! Today we load -- and say good-bye to St. Michael. God is good! He has blessed me with some incredible people to help -- teams for THREE DAYS! I will be BUSY at hand, so will not be back on to blog or fb or anything else "internet" for awhile. When I return, I'll be excited to post BEFORE and AFTER pics -- videos, and to tell you about how things go!

It's all good Ted! We'll miss you, but "WE CAN DO THIS!" and will get it all set so when you return, all you have to do is walk in, find a chair in the sun and RELAXXXXX!

I KNOW you wanna help, right? Heehee -- gimme a call!
SEE YOU IN A FEW DAYS!!!

Three more days!!!

It's Monday morning and we are nearly ready! THREE MORE DAYS and we will be moving to our new "staging job" on the lake... Yesterday afternoon, we spent a substantial amount of time gathering our things around our quaint little "temporary" home here and moving them UP to the garage. Given all the stairs and "ups" we will be commandeering in the next weekend, I figured the sooner the better. Now we can (sort of) relax a bit before the trucks and trailers come for the big move.

...the BIG move? ...well, maybe not so big. Always before, it has been six bedrooms and six baths... over 6,000 square feet of living and staging an MOVING STUFF! Back in October 2009 we sold all but our bedrooms on CraigsList . Save a few items that didn't sell for our going price - and believe me it was a FIRESALE! - we'll be starting over when we get to the new house.


For the record, yes, I am still oil pulling - it's working great and I am loving the results. My youngest has joined the routine and is happy as well with what he sees as a result.

...annnnd, YES, I am STILL working with my online mentor Jeremy. The information is wonderful and I can't wait to tell you (when I feel confident enough) about my successes in it!

...and lastly, when we move, I will be starting to try VIDEO blogging! Yep, you'll get to see my pretty face each time I post --- provided I have make up on! ;o) Gonna do some before and afters of the house, as well as some more "helpful tips" and even some recipes, I think! Pretty excited to get this blog looking more the way I dream about it being!

Have a wonderful day! Looks to be nice here in Minnesota!!!

...my journey continues

A dreamer, yes... but I have also been blessed, on many occasions to walk in the promised land of living out my passion of loving people to life. The promised land, to me, has been when God allows those "divine appointments" as some would call them. Those random chance meetings with people - sometimes strangers - that you feel deeply about and desire to show them something new,  maybe just something small, but a tool that they can use to move one step further. It motivates, it encourages... and it performs, if given the chance!

Bruce Wilkinson, in his book "The Dream Giver" also points out how when Moses and Joshua led the Israelites out of Egypt, there was a pattern that typically played out. I have seen it to be very true in my own life as well. I offer this tool to you. Maybe it will also encourage you to not give up on your Dream. When difficulties and hurdles seem to be everywhere you look, press on. Keep the faith! Faith is the evidence of things HOPED FOR and things UNSEEN! KEEP THE FAITH!!!

• Become aware of your personal Dream or calling, and decide to pursue it.
• Face your fears as you leave your "place of comfort".
• Be ready, you WILL face opposition from those around you (mostly due to their own fear!)
• When you endure the season of difficulty and hurdles, press on -- this will test YOUR faith.
• You begin to learn and realize the importance of surrender and consecration to God.
• Giants WILL COME, and you must fight them. They will stand between you and the fulfillment of your Dream.
• You will reach your full potential, achieve your dream, and bring honor to God - The Dream Giver!

Years and years and years of my life have been cycled in this way as well. I can totally agree. Let your anger, disappointment, frustration, all be directed in the right place. Let it make you more determined than ever to FIGHT and reach your Dream. When you encounter hurts, pains, trials, hurdles... allow them to make you stronger for the road ahead - the NEXT time they come, it's a little easier to get through them! The moment you recognize them as only a "season" in your life, is the moment you turn the corner and are on your way out. There is something about recognizing it that helps you to "dig in" and get through. As a believer, I thank God for the challenges that make me stronger - they build character - and draw me even deeper in my relationship to my Creator!

I walk in faith... so I have HOPE!

      "I am surrendering my Dream to you, Dream Giver. 
        I've decided that it's you that I can't go on without."


      "Ordinary, I am giving you back your Dream. 
        Now you can use it to serve me. 
        Now you can use it to achieve truly Great Things.
        And I am with you always."
                                                      ~Bruce Wilkinson, Author

I had a dream, once... and I had to lay it down. It was a very hard decision to make, but as hard as it was, I let it go. That dream was gone, for a long time. But I got it back! When it was given back to me by the Dream Giver, it was clearer and more concise than I could have ever imagined...

My journey is hard - as you may know, because you may have experienced some of it with me in the past - or you may be walking with me now. However, I have faith in the one who gave me the dream in the first place, because He has never failed me. Often I have felt alone, or abandoned, but when I get through that place that feels so dark and frightening - and I always DO - I discover that He was my silent companion all along. That realization, keeps me walking in faith through any valley, knowing that it will only be a matter of time and I will pass through the darkness and soon, I will see the light ahead that reveals my next step.

My dream, is my name - my heart, my passion - Loving People To LIFE! Every day, every step and every encounter, I have chosen to view as a new opportunity bringing me one step closer to the end result.

"The Land of Promise"