...let go

...once again I find myself faced with a familiar, yet cold and lonely road. It's time to let go.

This is not the first time I have been here, no... in fact this is the third time. It doesn't seem to get any easier with time.

I remember, years ago, when we worked in youth ministry and we, ourselves, were not so far from the step out of the nests we had known for so long as safety, love and direction... this made it easier for us to "help" the parents of the kids that we worked with. It was my heart to encourage the parents to "trust" their son or daughter. Telling them, "You have done the best of all you know how and it is time for them to fly." The age of accountability. "Choices they make, are not necessarily always going to be right, or the ones you would choose..." But those choices bring lessons. Some quick, some easy and some very difficult lessons.

It's my turn, again... The love and lessons I have worked on for years, are about to reveal themselves again... My son, recently 18, has told me of some of his plans... I do not agree, and he knows this... but he knows my love -- and has said "You don't need to worry momma, you raised me right..."

I am grateful for his openness and honest communication. It's something that a parent longs for. He has seen my failings twice before...and hopefully the successes of right advice I have given too. His life decisions now are based upon things he has heard, and seen, and his own "stepping out" of my nest.

I am scared for him... as I was for each of my others. It is such a long way down from the nest... But it is time now, for me to trust God... and him... that the steps he makes and the doors he chooses to open will be walked through with grace and wisdom of what he has seen before, and courage to know that a failure is only another step towards success... and character. I love my sons so very much... and want to protect them, because I know, and I have learned all the wickedness and traps in the world that have been set against them. Hopefully he knows, hopefully they ALL know that I am here... not to control, or to dictate, but to listen, to hear, and to share from my own life experiences... if only they will ask, I am here... but now, I let go... and watch him FLY!